However, with each subsequent iteration of this process, where they’re willing to engage with their emotions, the temptations will become less and less problematic. The ultimate question that we want people to ask themselves, the question: out of the place from which there is a distinction between you and the things you’ve been struggling with and trying to change, are you willing to experience those things, fully and without defense, as they are and not as they say they are, and do what works for you and your values, in this situation? So in this case, as intrusive thoughts show up, grapple with the fact that they’re there, notice the fact that they showed up in a particular context yet again, or at a particular time. Notice that you have them as a natural course of your mortality. Accept them for what they are; they don’t dictate behavior, they don’t mean you have to engage in anything.
He argues that we need the people struggling with addiction to be "more accepting of the thoughts, feelings, and emotions that they have." They need to learn that they can choose to "behave on this impulse or I can not behave on it; then they can choose it consistent with their value system."
It all comes down to choices:
If for the first time they discover an option of having that as a choice, they can also discover that not doing is also a choice.And then from Hamlet:
Refrain tonight, and that shall lend a kind of easiness to the next abstinence, the next more easy, for use almost can change the stamp of nature, and either master the devil or throw him out with wondrous potency.
By Kirk Dougher
Speech
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